Does age really matter?

She has brown glossy hair and manicured names. She has brilliant White teeth and all she has to do is blink her pretty little eyeslashes to get a guy. Worst of all, She's approaching my Jare. Okay, Okay, his not my Jare. He'll never be my Jare. But I've just been calling that in my mind for months now. I've been obsessing over him. because I want him so bad, I want him like I've never want anything else in my life. The fact that I cannot have him doesn't help either. It only makes me want him more and more.

Which makes my mind go on the verge of insanity. Can You go insane, can one man, one person, make you lose your mind? Someone people have told me that they would lose their mind, they would be come ill if they couldn't have the one they truly wanted. I use to look at them, and roll my eyes at those words.






You can live without with anything, if you have to. When forced to, you'll cope. That's what I use to think but not anymore. Because when I'm near him, My heart soars and melts. It's this painful, liberating feeling that comes from within me.






But it's pain that hurts so much, that it almost feels good to feel it.






'Girl you have it bad.' Lydia comments She glances where my eyes are glancing. My eyes are glancing at the girl thats walking toward Jare. The girl says something to make Jare laugh. He looks beautiful when he laughs. Lydia shuts the blind close.






'Hey why did you do that for!' I complain






She narrows her eyes at me and glares at me. 'God! Jade Your obsessed with him. And It's not healthy. You need to go out and meet some new boys. You need to get your mind off of him. '






'I did. I went out with all of your stupid guy friends last week. Didn't I?' She drops her mouth and her mouth forms in an O. Then Her hand comes out and smacks me across my face. My face starts to burn from the blow, she just has caused.






'What was that for?' I asked






'I'm trying to knock some common sense into you, girl!' She says 'All week, you found something wrong with all of the guys. When they were perfect! Nothing was wrong with them! They just weren't him!'






'That's not true--'






'Look I know what it's like.' Does she? Does she know what it is like to want someone so bad. To not even know what that means. Does she? Does She? Does She? I don't think she knows what it's like. I think she's just saying that to convince me to do something she wants me to do. 'You don't.' I said 'I do. I liked this guy but he was older then me. He was twenty five and I was only fifteen. '


'So what did you do?' I asked






'Well we end up kissing and then dating. But after a month he just couldn't do it anymore. I hated him for so long but now I don't hate him anymore. Because it was good that it ended that way. We were so different and he wanted things that I hadn't yet to experience . That I wasn't ready to give.'






'Like what? Sex?' I asked






She shoke her head. 'No, No, No, not just sex. But other things. Point is, I wasn't ready to have a relationship with an older man.






It seems fun and exciting but trust me it's not. And you'll get over it and you'll be thankful you didn't make the stupid mistake of trying it.'






Her voice became bitter at the very last sentence.






'Ahh, You miss him!' I commented

Her eyes widened in shock. 'Don't be stupid! I have a boyfriend that I love.'






'Mhmm, Sure.' I said






'I do!' she protests






'Now be honest. Who are you trying to convince me or yourself?'






'Me! I don't care about that substitute teacher! I care about my own boyfriend. You know what, I don't have to convince you of this.' She says furious, and then slams the door behind him.






She was fifteen and he was twenty five. So that was two years ago. Think, Think, Think, Jade. I think back to every Substitute teacher Lydia's ever had. It takes me an hour to remember him then I remember. Mr. Scott . I smile because I'm going to find him.






I run upstairs to my computer, and search online for Mr. Scott. I decided to pay the extra forty dollars for a back ground check. It's kind of scary real. For forty dollars you can anything you've ever wanted to know about a person.






I write down the address of where he works and slip it in my back pocket. Tomorrow, I'm going to pay Mr. Scott A little Visit. Hopefully Lydia will still be mad at me tomorrow and won't expect I'm up to anything.