Dear "18 year old in love"
I know you are hurting but the answer is pretty clear cut.
You got involved with this girl long before she was remotely ready to even consider having another relationship.
One of the problems with being on the rebound is that unless the other person has completely finished with her ex, those old feelings for him are bound to resurface and get in the way of whatever the two of you had.
Personally, I don't doubt that the two of you had a connection, but she definitely is with him and not with you and the very best thing you can do is really tell yourself that she was never "yours" to begin with.
Isn't it ironic that most of us can connect more easily when someone isn't entirely available? From what you have written, this girl is confused about her feelings and is with a very dominating guy who seems to be able to manipulate and control her. Okay, she likes it.
As hard as it may be, you have to completely cut it off. Don't try to call her or contact her again. She has moved on and so must you.
You don't want to be seen as someone who is running after someone who has already told you that they are back with their ex. There is really no logical explanation for these things. As much as we try to rationalize what seems like irrational behavior, she has an attachment to him which she is just not ready to relinquish.
Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing here for you but aggravation.
You sound like a cool guy. Someone else will think so as well so give the rest of the available girls in the world a chance.
Sooner or later, the connection you felt with her will be there with someone else: hopefully, she won't just have broken up with her ex.
Good luck to you. Keep me posted.
I know you are hurting but the answer is pretty clear cut.
You got involved with this girl long before she was remotely ready to even consider having another relationship.
One of the problems with being on the rebound is that unless the other person has completely finished with her ex, those old feelings for him are bound to resurface and get in the way of whatever the two of you had.
Personally, I don't doubt that the two of you had a connection, but she definitely is with him and not with you and the very best thing you can do is really tell yourself that she was never "yours" to begin with.
Isn't it ironic that most of us can connect more easily when someone isn't entirely available? From what you have written, this girl is confused about her feelings and is with a very dominating guy who seems to be able to manipulate and control her. Okay, she likes it.
As hard as it may be, you have to completely cut it off. Don't try to call her or contact her again. She has moved on and so must you.
You don't want to be seen as someone who is running after someone who has already told you that they are back with their ex. There is really no logical explanation for these things. As much as we try to rationalize what seems like irrational behavior, she has an attachment to him which she is just not ready to relinquish.
Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing here for you but aggravation.
You sound like a cool guy. Someone else will think so as well so give the rest of the available girls in the world a chance.
Sooner or later, the connection you felt with her will be there with someone else: hopefully, she won't just have broken up with her ex.
Good luck to you. Keep me posted.
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